I still just can't believe you are gone.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

.....

ive been asked MANY times WHERE to tag.

Okay and so i changed the color of the T (UP THERE) from a GRAY to RED. Click on it and a new window will appear. tag there. Ill be creating a forum soon. tagging is just so boring.

# posted by ChaosAngel-CMC | 1:40 AM | 0 comments

Friday, September 16, 2005
new template

heh heh, hey again!! sup yall guys =)) well as u can see i have a new template up. took me 1 day to get it up and thats really looongg. complicated but was worth it. and i like the new design. pretty cool huh. lol

Aight heres a slight introduction.

If u observed properly, therre are 3 boxes up there. Each contains Band, Retard and Websites respectively. Band refers to the favorite band. Retard means.. you and finally the websites. To tag, click on the "Tag here" link. A small window will pop up and u tag there.

to my right, -->, is the list of friends. and to the right of it, it is an affiliates list. If you want your site to be linked here, just tag my shoutbox and ill see to it right away.

This blog issnt really completed yet, so come back for more surprises =))

# posted by ChaosAngel-CMC | 1:44 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, August 25, 2005
=S

i dont know what to type here.. life's been better than before. haha. which im really grateful for. cause i dont want it to affect my Os. yyup

ive been late for school very often now.. cause of some typical singaporeans running for the bus and squeezing into it before i could even reach the bus entrance. wtf so ks.

yeah thats about it.
take care

# posted by ChaosAngel-CMC | 5:21 AM | 0 comments

Saturday, August 13, 2005
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Damn!.. i got C5 for mother tongue!! OMG OMG OMG!

At first i was glad that i passed.. but after much.. discussing and know that many friends had 4 and above........ god..

really dont know wanna retake or not..

anyway, i forgot to blog last night, but yeah im here.

lol red cross farewell party.. how does it sound? sad or fun?

Well.. it seems both to me. farewell: Sad while Party : fun.. whatever. but it was a great night last night.

Thanks all sec3s and 2s for all ur effort and making this great night possible. I really appreciate very much.. though many of us had to stay back to clean the AVA room.. -.-

Ehh.. now that wer officially down, i really hope the new committee will do a better job than i did last year. i know that i didnt do a good job off a chairman post. but ive tried what i can do, plus its a one-man committe for me. lol.. true wasnt it..? my sec4 batch was not bad.. but just lack participation in helping red cross. oh well.

Just a few words to the new committee, that is if ur reading lol..
Fitri, you have great leadership and good quality of... yourself in you.. u know what i mean.. lol . thats why we decided to let u handle the heavier post. Hope that the sec1s next year dont give u too much of a problem.. haha. good luck

Natasha, ur a matured and a person full of knowlegde, being a vice-chair shouldnt be a job too hard for u ! =D Hope u can assist fitri in whenever.

Suzi, heh heh, she may look blurrrrrrr.. but when she does her job, ull really regret thinking about her that way. your a diligent person and many people phraise u for ur efficiency. good job and keep it up.

Well with the 3 of u in the commitee and the rest of the members who specialise in different areas, there is doubt any problem can bring u down. haha. . well guys im very sure u can do a great job and wont disappoint miss tan.

well, thats about it for tonight.. and i wont talk about anything about my visit to the girl's toilet to wash the mop after cleaning the AVA room.

cmc signing out. take care =)

# posted by ChaosAngel-CMC | 4:45 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, August 11, 2005
Os.

okay. lets pray...........

tomorrow's the day.. when Chinese Os result's being released! 110805.. scarry..

anyway.. its been a pleasant day.. just that im tired from all the studying! after went for maths remedial then left for a poa tuition. everything ends at 7pm. didnt had my lunch and was so so so starving like mad.

tomorrow's the farewell party for all red cross seniors (sec 4 and 5) its gonna be fun i hope. but sad too that ill be leaving the cca ive been into so much since sec1 lol. but yeah everything has to come to an end.

thats about it for tonight. and tag =P

# posted by ChaosAngel-CMC | 5:15 AM | 0 comments

Saturday, August 06, 2005
Life Continues.... for the better ^^

everyone has their own problems in life and have to face them. some people choose to run away, while some people will choose to face them, once and for all. Im one of them who faced them.

Though it may be a very tough road, but at least the road ends faster.

Just a message to people who are facing many social problems, like friends: Friends are just temporarily by ur side to help you with ur needs, but they have their lifes to carry on. You have to leave them eventually. Friends come and go. So dont take friendships TOO seriously. I empathies on the word "TOO". Serious friendships are good, just dont take it too serious, else ull end up getting .. unpleasant endings.. u know.

I took friendships too seriously, therefore, when they chose to ignore me.. i couldnt get over it. I realised it was a change in my attitude towards them and the way i dress. Well, im know that i have changed for the better.. so if they still refuse to befriend me again, theres absolutely nothing i can do about it. Besides, I still have many loyal and friends and my family,TOO, who had faith in me. Thank you, you guys. It was you peeps who gave me this chance to change. Those people who still completely ignore me, its okay. just disappointed that i wasnt given much of a chance to change. lol. Im not ashame of what ive done. Call me a poser? sure. doesnt matter. cause i know everyone makes mistakes. So this is the biggest and gravest mistake ive ever made, but this changed my attitude for life, and i know the possibility of this happening to me in future will definately lessen.

Yeah haha. thats about it.

Oh yeah. one more thing. If you prefer to talk .."bad" things behind me, trust me, you are the loser, not me. I wont try to hit u or anything, but you are just trampering on the way people think of you.
haha just saying this.. eh stepf chua? just leaving a message to you here. cause u prefer to talk bad stuffs of me behind, rather than just saying it straight in my face. i dont care, u can type all u want in ur own blog or friendster. im not looking cause i know im WAS a poser. im not gonna .. so-called.. argue with you, know why? cause ur a GIRL. I dont quaarell with girls. dont think that im not responding to ur "comments", that means im afraid of you. I haven done ANYTHING wrong to u. Just saying your chinese name wont hurt a hair on you, will it? Come on accept the fact. Its your chinese name. You MADE fun of my chinese name too. i stfu-ed about it already. you said my chinese name sounds like a girl's. hey i laughed at it. Cause i gotta admit it sounds like one. but i accepted it. so what if u have a chinese name? and it suits u pretty much lol. i haven't made fun of your name.. have i? You shouted at me in class and said bad things to my other friends. i didnt do anything about it. Well, im not apologising just because i said ur chinese name.. cause it made no sense. yeah? so just chill it aight?

blah whatever lol. it always feels good after blogging. hahaha. anyway, cmc signing off. Have a good day to yall reading this! =)

# posted by ChaosAngel-CMC | 4:50 AM | 0 comments

Monday, May 23, 2005
Depressed.

Today's monday, vesak day's holiday.. my friends told me about me (the 2nd time)..

aight, I know people has been talking behind my back.. about me. nono, dont get wrong, though i hate people taling behind my back, but this time round, im not abit mad. So its cool..

Its alittle embarrassing letting people know this, but still i think i better express myself here, and also a public apology to all those people ive "offended".

Since sec 4, the beginning of the year, i haven been myself, in other words, im not in the right mind, not my mind. the following may sound alittle ridiculous and alittle confusing , but im telling you, that i have 2 minds. The first mind, is the mind which i had since i was borned until the sec 4, and the second mind started in sec 4.

People are saying i have changed ALOT since sec 4.. maybe alittle in sec 3. I didnt know that until my friends told me about it. yeah yeah it hurts cause people are saying im a poser, because i always copy people. aight, i have to admit i really wanted to be in a punk band. since its a WANT, its inevitable sometimes i mention .. or probably brag about our good punk is.. how much i love punk.. how much i listen to punk music.. and eventually, i begin to talk about anarchy ( Anti-Government).. its something like punk rock too.. so yah

Secondly, I have been told once by my friends.. that ive changed alot since sec 4 starts. i started to love punk and stuffs like that. and my attitude towards people changed. i also realised many of my friends start to leave me.. cause of my arrogance and my attitude towards them.. aight it hurts but im willing to change, cause if u were me, you wouldnt know that you have changed alot until someone tells u. I started changing for the better. and gradually, friends begin to talk to me.. it may not be a great change back to my normal self to some of my friends .. but its a great achievement to me. i started to brag lesser than i did before and begin to be myself instead of "copying" people..

ok after the change.. i thought its over. but nah. its far from what ive thought. some people still find im still a poser. I didnt know that until kenneth and clifford discuss this with me today at starbucks. and again, it hurts inside, but i didnt show in my expression. That is where the spliting of minds comes in. I dont know.. somehow.. i cant seem to control my mind. my mind just goes on its own accord, it does whatever it wants with my body and i dont seem to be able to take over it. sometimes, when im back to my normal self.. i didnt know what happened. until some friends showed me their faces.. i didnt know what the hell happened and no one is willing to tell me. ( yeah i know, this is ridiculous and CONFUSING , but its true.. i swear to god). and it sucks.. really. and my friends started talking about me.. BAD things about me.. but its cool i understand. but please, if u have anything unhappy about me, do come and confront me. i dont want any misunderstandings..

Misunderstanding.. thats one consequence about no one told me whats wrong with me.. because of my "bad" mind.. for example.. i dont know when have i offended woon yah.. because i didnt know what i was doing.. she told me she was mad at me cause ive been showing her attitude ( i dont remember doing that).. aight.. im sorry. dont get mad at me.. im trying now to change that.

About my character and appearance, many friends of mine started commenting bad things about it. they said my character has changed alot .. from a cheerful, innocent(er.. ok i dont remember being innocent too) and kind-soul person.. to a cold and unexpected person. Unexpected because (kenneth told me).. that i keep giving people the cold stare and "cool" look.
This leads to change of expression(attitude)..

Ok, i also know that KDL says ive changed alot.. too. yeah hes sraight forward, which is good.. sorry buddy.. ill try to change my character too..

Johnny.. says im a poser.. a skater..? lol yeah its cool.. but seriously.. i didnt really know that DC is a skater brand. I bought the bag cause i find it nice and attractive.. sorry john.. u were a nice person. hope ull chill out on me..

Wait wait.. one more thing. PEOPLE.. especially people from 4E1... says im a "kenneth-wannabi".. ok ive been torlerating that for sometime. IM telling YOU guys.. that is if any of you is reading my blog.. THAT i AM NOT kenneth and i AM NOT copying him. the only things we have alike are.. our SPECS and our hairstyle.. ok about the specs... although kenneth has it since like 6 months before i bought mine.. i bought mine because i found it familiar ( i didnt know its the same as kenneth).. and nice and cool.. ive heard alot about oakley too.. so i decided to buy it. it costed a bloody bomb and you think anyone will wanna buy a specs which costed like.. 300 bucks just to copy kenneth? wth man.. think about it. the hairstyle.. GO ask kenneth urself if we have been to the same hairstylist.. i tell u now.. NO.. different hairstylist. and almost everyone in singapore has the same hairstyle. so you guys better stop this shit before something bad happens. unless this stops or someone's gonna get hurt. i have my limits in me.

aight.. so yeah thats all i have to say.. im sorry to all those ive offended.. in my "bad" mind.. i will either have to see a pycologist or a mind therapist.. that is if my condition worsen.. ill discuss this with my parents .. sorry again.. aight i gtg now.. catchya.

please tag me if u have anything to comment on this..